Ok – perhaps hate is too strong of a word, but I strongly dislike shopping. I cannot sugar coat it. Last week was Week 3 of my holiday preparation. During this week, I attempted to focus on Gift Making & Shopping.
As you’d expect, this is my least favorite week of the season. All week, I struggled to get going. Even writing about shopping felt like a chore because it’s so counter to what inspires me about living a minimalist lifestyle.
Perhaps like me, you also feel bogged down by the “need” for excessive gift giving and family expectations. In fact, I know you do! Because I’ve talked to you at my speaking engagements. Gift Giving is the #1 question I field at these events especially from exasperated parents.
Gift making is a completely different story. Photo calendars for the grandparents, cookies and mason jar mixes. The recipients look forward to these gifts and return empty jars for refills. Delivering these homemade items makes us feel like Santa with the added bonus of visiting friends.
Shopping is a chore
Shopping on the other hand is a chore. I view shopping with such dread that it causes me to withdrawal. My extroverted-self goes into hiding. My husband even noticed. He said, “You don’t seem very happy. You seem irritated all the time.” Ouch.
He was right. I told him I didn’t have the Christmas Spirit. Our decorating was simple but beautiful. Our holiday party was a fun evening with friends where we raised money for local families. But Week 3 is all about the gifts! Yuck! I lack Christmas Spirit for shopping.
But I resolved to work hard to change my heart and find holiday cheer. Yesterday, I woke up thinking about the gifts and gave up on any extra sleep. I followed my morning routine, read my Advent devotional and vowed to start Week 3 over.
As I reflected, I could fit the past week’s activities into two categories. They were Spirit Lifting and Spirit Taking. More importantly, I could also see a pattern.
Spirit Lifting
- Baking cookies with my cousin
- Making photo calendars
- Greeting new families at church
- Listening to the Christmas Cantata
- Delivering diapers to a family in need
- Cooking for my family
- Writing a blog post next to the Christmas tree
- Attending Book Club
- Watching a movie with my husband
- Reading to my son
Spirit Taking
- Writing our gift buying list
- Discussing this list with my husband (He is so patient with me. Seriously, he is!)
- Planning a shopping day
- Shopping online, comparing prices, reviews, shipping costs and delivery dates
- Shopping
My reflection validates that when we own less/buy less/shop less, we actually live more. I’m drawn to the Spirit Lifting activities.
Still….I hadn’t solved the Christmas shopping problem. Perhaps I should take my own advice? I revisited “Simply Enough at Christmas.” I want to have the Christmas spirit for gift giving and make purchases that honor living simply and my minimalist lifestyle.
My Advice
- Set the Example – Talk to your spouse and kids first. Get their buy-in for simpler Gift Giving. We do 4 gifts for our son, Something you Want/Need/Wear/Read. My husband and I no longer exchange gifts but instead put the money towards travel and experiences we enjoy. We had already executed this plan. Check!
- Set a Budget and Write a Specific Gift List – We downsized our gift giving list significantly. Everyone still likes us and Christmas is a better experience because of it. Before heading out to the stores, I reviewed the list and purchases thus far. Then, discussed and agreed on ideas with my husband.
- Be Thoughtful – With a smaller list, we have time and energy to be more thoughtful with our purchases. Experience gifts and consumables are my go-to unless I’m aware of a specific need. I strive to meet a need and not create a need with my gift. For example, Keurigs, Soda Streams, InstaPots, pick a gadget, any gadget! Appliances like these typically create a need that most people do not have. And they create work for the receiver who has to store, maintain and purchase supplies for the new device.
- Limit Your Shopping Days – With my list in hand, a budget and ideas written down, I set out for one afternoon of shopping. My husband picked up some items because he’s better suited to purchase certain gifts.
As of today, we are done. Even the bank called to confirm that everything was ok. Not because we ignored our budget but because it was such an anomaly to our typical spending habits.
And I couldn’t be happier about that. 🙂
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