How to Bring Back the Lost Art of Borrowing from your Neighbor

A sharing economy means to focus on the sharing of underutilized assets, monetized or not, in ways that improve efficiency, sustainability and community. This renewed term describes companies like Lyft and AirBNB. It also defines one of my favorite organizations, The Buy Nothing Project.

Giving someone a lift or sharing a spare room are not new concepts, but less common than years past. When I was growing up, a family friend stayed with us. He lived a few hours away, but worked in our town periodically. He had a key to our house and arrived at any hour. No phone call needed. It was our version of the sharing economy to offer the spare bedroom.

The further down this living-simply-journey I go, the more I long for times like this. Days when we borrowed a cup of sugar from our neighbor instead of running to the store. Now, it’s rare to find people who know their neighbors well enough to even ask.  Stopping to chat by the mailbox is a rarity, not the norm.

Cars pull out of garages before dawn and drive back in after dark as owners close the door behind them. That is if they can fit the car in the garage.

Regardless, most people rush inside to press through the evening’s agenda. The hustle of work and kid’s activities take us away from home. The fear of missing out on an opportunity hijacks our evenings.

Long gone are the days of sitting on the front porch catching up with the neighbors. Learning that Joe has a new weed-whacker and you’re welcome to borrow it. Or Susan made an apple pie, would you like a slice?

My grandma was famous for keeping a pot of coffee on all day and a full pitcher of iced tea. I remember her back door swinging open and closed all day. Someone always stopping by because of her open invitation.

So what’s my point? I believe that part of my mission for Simply Enough is to Bring Back the Lost Art of Borrowing a Cup of Sugar from your Neighbor. Living simply isn’t just less stuff. It’s about building community and having time to get to know our neighbors again. Research shows that humans are made for relationships and they help us live longer too.

I’ll admit, we weren’t always very good at this. We hosted occasional block parties. Double income, climbing the corporate ladders and living a work hard/play hard life turned out to be completely unsustainable.

Occasionally, we chatted with our neighbors but never dug deep until our son was born. Pushing baby strollers and children playing outside create an instant connection. We are better people because we slowed down and embraced the opportunity.

My son’s best friend lives across the street and his mom is one of my dearest friends. I learned how to cook sitting in her kitchen. Moreover, I gained the confidence to make a meal for my family. A task that alluded me most of my life. Now, I routinely borrow spices. Our boys run between houses with last minute requests at dinnertime.

Perhaps you don’t have a friend like this in your neighborhood? Wondering how to find one? It’s simple…ask. You can create community but someone has to start. Someone has to ask for the first cup of sugar. Or milk or tomato paste or a weed-whacker.

What I’ve learned is that it wasn’t until I slowed down that this relationship developed. I took time to visit outside while our kids played. I reduced the to-do list and prioritized our schedule to what matters most. Below are a few things that developed and ideas to get started in your own community.

Sharing Economy Ideas

• Book Club – Invite neighbors to a book club. Start by reading books you already own and declutter your bookshelf too! If you’re already in a book club, take your favorite books to the next meeting and share with these avid readers. Encourage them to do the same. New books appear each month at our book club. Organize a book drive with your fellow readers and support a good cause.
• Tool Library – Seattle and other cities have tool libraries. I’m jealous. If there were more hours in the day, I would start one. Instead, we share our snow blower, lend out our carpet steamer and borrow the neighbor’s power washer. When I want to make 4 loaves of bread, I use two pans from my neighbor. Our “library” is not catalogued by the Dewey Decimal system, nor does it have a website but it’s our sharing economy and it works!
• Buy Nothing Project – “Come for the free stuff, stay for the community.” Unlike traditional yard sale Facebook groups, the Buy Nothing Project is focused on creating community by the items we share. Getting to know our neighbors by moving items around within just a few square miles.
• Food – Not sure you’re ready to ask to borrow eggs or sugar? Make a double batch of muffins and trying visiting a neighbor. Let them know your door is always open. Or make a extra dinner tonight and offer it to a single neighbor.

How will you create a Sharing Economy? Try one of these and let me know how it goes. Don’t give up…it takes time to build relationships. We’re all better and healthier because of them! Happy Sharing!