At least once a year, I play the Minsgame, usually by myself. A few months ago, I challenged the family to join me. The conversation went something like this.
Me: What if we play the Minsgame?
Son: What’s that?
Me: Day 1, get rid of 1 item, Day 2, 2 items and so on, up to Day 31.
Son: Mom, now you’re talkin’ crazy!
Me: Ok, what if we did this as a family competition?
Son: What would be my reward? A new video game? Mom, you can get a new phone! What about the Bahamas?
Me: (Ok – clearly I have some work to do here.) Well…Mom doesn’t need a new phone. And we’ll need to discuss the budget with dad but I think a digital download game could work. Should dad join the game too?
Son: Of course. So Mom, how much stuff will this be when we’re done?
Me: 496 items per person in 31 days. Which means nearly 1,500 things we won’t have to clean, maintain, organize or take care of! That’s my reward. Let’s talk to dad. (As he rattles off 3 or 4 video games he no longer plays.)
Dad: So, if I get rid of Mom on Day 1, can I be done with the game? 🙂 No seriously, I could do this. I probably have 500 pieces of paper. Definitely 500 emails.
(No surprise, we lost him after two weeks, but he’s on his own journey and doing just fine.)
My son embraced the idea of a goal and reward. He can’t quite appreciate the reward of less stuff to clean. Just as he doesn’t realize how a clutter-free bedroom helps him sleep better. He simply has his eye on the prize and that’s ok.
Needs and Wants
As we began, he indicated certain questions I asked resonated with him. He understood the concept of Needs vs Wants. As he found things he did not use, he was ok letting them go. “Just-in-case” was not a term he struggled with. It came down to two very objective questions for him.
- Is this a need or want? True needs were kept.
- If it’s a want, will I use it? Or could someone else benefit from it?
After two weeks, I started recommending spaces to declutter. I guided him towards areas of excess to fend off decision fatigue. They were often the same areas I tackled, such as the clothing closet. On our first pass, he removed 15 pieces of clothing.
Afterward, I asked how he felt about his closet. He liked that it was less crowded and easier to find his favorite shirts. Next, we thinned the stuffed animal collection. In the end, he did not miss the ones we passed on. He also recognized that if he still had all the animals ever acquired that they would take over his room. Moreover, he would lose the open space created by removing his dresser and storing all his clothes in the closet.
I pushed further in my questioning. Does it make you think differently about new stuffed animals? “Yes,” he answered, “the ones I buy, I really use. They are keepers.” Are you more selective because of our 1-in-1-out approach? “Yes,” he said.
So perhaps this behavior can be taught or at least modeled. My actions speak louder than my words. And I would never hold my son to a standard I wasn’t willing to meet myself.
We made it to the end! 992 items exited the house! And while they won’t be joining me this time, but maybe you will?
Who’s joining me for the #Minsgame this month? What do you have to lose? Just clutter!
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