Experiences Not Stuff

The trip can be the gift

Experiences, not stuff, that’s my motto. Winter break offers an ideal time to travel and often allows trips to be our primary Christmas gift. This year we plan to ski because it’s an outside sport and one we love. Traveling is a treat for all of us. And while we plan to drive this year, my son navigates airports like a pro as he’s been flying since age 3. 

I’m smiling as I look back on the whirlwind of travel in late 2016, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Each memory equally strong and precious because the experiences will stand the test of time and outlast any Christmas present.  No tangible item compares to the time I had with husband, son, and parents.

Little Things and the Starbucks Effect

Through daily life, we intentionally sacrifice stuff for experiences…prioritizing game night, family dinners, and movie night. But we also budget travel in lieu of weekly trips to Target or expensive Christmas gifts. The “Starbucks Effect” is real because small but frequent spending adds up. Instead of buying, we repurpose, reuse, borrow or simply do without. It’s easier than you think and these savings make all the difference.

I admit sometimes I felt guilty about the small number of presents my son opens at Christmas. Just four…Something you Want, Need, Wear and Read. But science even backs up my approach, so I’ll re-read this article every time I feel guilty and then plan another trip. 🙂

Time Not Toys

British Psychologist, Oliver James writes “what children really value about holidays is the rare possibility they create for prolonged periods of playfulness with their parents….The exam system that we put children through these days can be incredibly stressful…Holidays remove us, physically, from our highly pressured everyday lives where everyone’s focused on meeting targets. They are times when everyone can relax and be playful together.”

Note he doesn’t say unwrap a bunch of toys.  Instead, he says, vacations are about “talking nonsense with your parents, sharing an ice cream and moments of time in which your interests are genuinely taken into account.”  That is what children value, James argues. It is certainly what they remember, long after the toy ends up in a landfill.

So, what will my son remember from this Christmas? A lot I believe, because we value experiences over stuff.

**Because of COVID, our travels were drastically reduced in 2020. But I enjoy reliving our 2016 memories from the post below. I hope you do too.**

2016 Highlight Reel:

As avid college football fans, we spend each fall watching our beloved Penn State Nittany Lions. College football is a part of every Saturday in our house.

Road Trips

Blessed with grandparents living near State College,PA (aka Happy Valley), there’s always a place to stay and a good excuse to attend the Penn State home games. Our first long family road-trip was the 10-hour drive from DC to Indianapolis in early December.  Our son was a trooper and entertained himself in the car and genuinely enjoyed the ride. He was awarded the official Smith Family Road-Trip Badge which merely means that complaining was kept to a minimum and that we’ll take him again!

Indianapolis

The trip to Indy began with a late night drive through many small towns in West Virginia, Pennsylvania and Ohio. I can check Paw Paw, WV off my bucket list! We found winding mountain roads and colorful Christmas lights to keep us company as we pulled into downtown Indianapolis well after midnight. There was a house somewhere that had the entire roof decorated with Santa’s sleigh, reindeer and more.  I saw it on the way out and wanted to share it with my son who was asleep. Ironically, on the way home, he exclaimed with excitement for me to look up but I was too late. My head was buried in my phone and I missed it. The screen time struggle is real friends….and embarrassing how we miss out on life.

GAMEDAY

Lots of PA license plates and Penn State car magnets surrounded us as we made the pilgrimage in the wee hours of the night.  My guys awoke early with the news that ESPN GAMEDAY team was in town for the Big Ten Championship. So, we headed out to explore after getting mom’s coffee. What a welcoming, friendly, walkable city we found in Indianapolis!  With a little effort and a seat on Dad’s shoulders, my son is proud to say that he was on TV during ESPN GAMEDAY behind Desmond Howard’s head. His grandparents saw it live while remote DVR recording from our phone came in very handy. Zack and Dez had a connection that would follow them to Pasadena a month later. (I’ll take credit for suggesting the green coat to help him stick out in the sea of white and red.)

California and The Rose Bowl

He loved watching his team win in Indy, but he was devastated a few weeks later experiencing the loss to USC as they kicked the game winning field goal with the clock expiring. My husband held him crying and fellow Penn State fans around us attempted to console him. I swelled with pride, even in the loss, seeing that our Penn State family was everything that I’ve always known them to be.

The four days in LA at the Rose Bowl were simply beyond words. We ran into old friends, re-connected with West Coast friends, stayed in the team hotel, captured an elevator selfie with Coach Franklin, and laughed and cried with our extended Penn State family. 

My dad purchased a hat for my son, which they filled with autographs of Penn State greats like Jack Ham and Kijana Carter.  To my dad’s chagrin, he added the signature of Desmond Howard at the game because, well…he was on Gameday in Indy behind Dez’s head, so he feels a connection to the Heisman great.  Someday I’m sure they will discuss how my son devalued the hat and even Desmond Howard himself seemed shocked by the request.

The Little Moments

There were other moments too….small moments that are imprinted on my heart forever. Our early bird kid awoke even earlier on West Coast time. So, we threw him in the outdoor heated pool despite the 45 degree weather.  He ran happily between the pool and hot tub while I did yoga in the warm sunshine. My dad read the paper pool side and we chatted with another Penn State family who traveled from a nearby town.   My son loved seeing the Hollywood sign from our room but thought that the view of the team buses was equally awesome. And then in the car, he learned from his grandparents how to use your knuckles to remember which month has 30 vs 31 days.

By pure accident, we watched the Rose Parade with the locals.  A friendly church group welcomed us offering coffee, donuts, and the best seat in the house for my son.  It’s one of those experiences that restores your faith in humanity. Later, my faith increased when we asked for directions and found an easier route to the stadium. Sometimes you just need to ignore the GPS and look up to see the world and people around you. It’s amazing what you’ll find.

I could go on and on about the little things and the big moments too and share 15 more photos but this post is long enough. If you’ve read this far, thank you.  I think you probably get the gist. Experiences will always outlast the stuff and bring far greater reward.

Now, where to go for our next experience? Subscribe below to hear our latest adventures and experiences.  What’s your favorite destination? Tell me in the comments.